These kids of mine absolutely melt my heart.
Photos like this make me so grateful that I'm a picture taking fool.
I look at our oldest, Luke, in this picture, and I can't believe he's so big now.
It feels like he was in public school as a tiny first grader just yesterday.
Our lives felt so incredibly chaotic back then.
We rushed him out of bed in the morning and rushed him through breakfast and off to school.
Then, we rushed him home to eat before soccer practice only to finish up our nights
rushing him through dinner and bath time to get him in the bed on time.
All so that we could get up the next day and do it all over again.
We hated the lack of quality time we had together as a family.
The whole world around us was doing it, so we felt ridiculous that it didn't feel right to us.
But, it didn't, and I'm so glad we started this homeschooling journey almost five years ago.
I always enter into this kind of family decision with my "guns blazing."
They don't call me "Monica Gellar" for nothing!
I can go OCD in a New York minute.
Homeschooling was no different. I entered into it thinking it was forever.
I said we were taking it one year at a time, but you need to know that I never meant it.
When I commit to something as a parent, it's generally a hundred percent times a million.
This is probably why I started feeling uneasy
when my heart felt stirred about 6 months ago to transition Luke to middle school this year.
I prayed about it with Andy for several months before we ever mentioned it to a soul.
I cried and cried and had my heart totally dissected by the Lord.
He surfaced all sorts of junk in my flesh that I had to surrender.
...will my "diehard" homeschool friends think I'm less committed?
...is Luke ready?
...will he be a leader or a follower?
...will he choose good friends who will encourage him in his faith journey?
...have I done a good enough job with him at home to prepare him for a traditional classroom?
Y'all. There were so many fears, and honestly, they were my first clue that God was up to something.
Fear isn't from the Lord. Ever.
I'm so glad those fears didn't completely blind me from what God wanted to do
in my heart and in our family.
In my heart, He has peeled back a few more layers of my struggle for approval.
He's patiently showing me that His approval is all in this world that truly matters.
How many more times do I have to learn this one????
The truth is...I have had friends who have questioned our decision.
They are diehard for homeschool and truly believe with all their hearts
that it's the very best decision for families.
I won't go on record saying they believe it's the only way or for every family,
but they're standing pretty darn close to that line.
At a few points in this process, I literally felt like I was in a tug of war.
Would I seek their approval or would I follow what I really believed was God's leading for our family?
God has also been tenderly showing me my very real struggle with control.
Again. How much longer will this one still flare up in me????
The truth is...Luke might make a few mistakes in these next few years.
He might learn the hard way what to look for in a friend.
He may or may not be as prepared as he needs to be for a traditional classroom.
There will definitely be an adjustment period.
I have to tell you all...My heart is more free from the need to control the outcome in all these scenarios.
I have chosen to follow God's leading, and there has been such an overwhelming peace.
His power to transform our hearts and renew our minds is mind-blowing.
I know that God will be peeling back layers in me until the day He returns,
but he is doing a good work and making life abundantly full, which makes me so grateful.
Luke is one week into his new adventure in middle school.
He's at a private christian school that is wonderfully partnering with us
for both his academic and spiritual growth.
He is learning the ropes of changing classes 7 times each day.
He's forming some sweet friendships with kids who seem to be like-minded.
He is trying to remember to write his assignments in his agenda
and bring home the correct books each night.
He is carrying around what feels like a 40 lb. book bag.
He has said to me at least once a day that he's so glad to be there!!
And, it doesn't hurt my feelings one single bit.
It is amazing to see him grow and learn and be stretched while he is still under our care.
He's taking responsibility for his academic life, which makes my heart sing with JOY!
It's one of the many things I wanted to see develop in his life through homeschool.
He has stepped up to the plate in every single way, and we could NOT be prouder of him.
As for the other two cute kids in that picture....we're homeschooling our hearts out and loving it!
Seth is in 4th grade and Lydia is a big kindergarten student.
We are truly enjoying our time together.
They are both loving extra time with each other and with me.
God is good!
We can make our plans, but God directs our steps.
Proverbs 16:9
{thankful for}
490. answered prayers.
491. God's leading.
492. the accountability of a schedule.
493. Mexican food with the kids tonight.
494. finished laundry.
495. Karen Kingsbury...8 books read in 6 weeks!!
Photos like this make me so grateful that I'm a picture taking fool.
I look at our oldest, Luke, in this picture, and I can't believe he's so big now.
It feels like he was in public school as a tiny first grader just yesterday.
Our lives felt so incredibly chaotic back then.
We rushed him out of bed in the morning and rushed him through breakfast and off to school.
Then, we rushed him home to eat before soccer practice only to finish up our nights
rushing him through dinner and bath time to get him in the bed on time.
All so that we could get up the next day and do it all over again.
We hated the lack of quality time we had together as a family.
The whole world around us was doing it, so we felt ridiculous that it didn't feel right to us.
But, it didn't, and I'm so glad we started this homeschooling journey almost five years ago.
I always enter into this kind of family decision with my "guns blazing."
They don't call me "Monica Gellar" for nothing!
I can go OCD in a New York minute.
Homeschooling was no different. I entered into it thinking it was forever.
I said we were taking it one year at a time, but you need to know that I never meant it.
When I commit to something as a parent, it's generally a hundred percent times a million.
This is probably why I started feeling uneasy
when my heart felt stirred about 6 months ago to transition Luke to middle school this year.
I prayed about it with Andy for several months before we ever mentioned it to a soul.
I cried and cried and had my heart totally dissected by the Lord.
He surfaced all sorts of junk in my flesh that I had to surrender.
...will my "diehard" homeschool friends think I'm less committed?
...is Luke ready?
...will he be a leader or a follower?
...will he choose good friends who will encourage him in his faith journey?
...have I done a good enough job with him at home to prepare him for a traditional classroom?
Y'all. There were so many fears, and honestly, they were my first clue that God was up to something.
Fear isn't from the Lord. Ever.
I'm so glad those fears didn't completely blind me from what God wanted to do
in my heart and in our family.
In my heart, He has peeled back a few more layers of my struggle for approval.
He's patiently showing me that His approval is all in this world that truly matters.
How many more times do I have to learn this one????
The truth is...I have had friends who have questioned our decision.
They are diehard for homeschool and truly believe with all their hearts
that it's the very best decision for families.
I won't go on record saying they believe it's the only way or for every family,
but they're standing pretty darn close to that line.
At a few points in this process, I literally felt like I was in a tug of war.
Would I seek their approval or would I follow what I really believed was God's leading for our family?
God has also been tenderly showing me my very real struggle with control.
Again. How much longer will this one still flare up in me????
The truth is...Luke might make a few mistakes in these next few years.
He might learn the hard way what to look for in a friend.
He may or may not be as prepared as he needs to be for a traditional classroom.
There will definitely be an adjustment period.
I have to tell you all...My heart is more free from the need to control the outcome in all these scenarios.
I have chosen to follow God's leading, and there has been such an overwhelming peace.
His power to transform our hearts and renew our minds is mind-blowing.
I know that God will be peeling back layers in me until the day He returns,
but he is doing a good work and making life abundantly full, which makes me so grateful.
Luke is one week into his new adventure in middle school.
He's at a private christian school that is wonderfully partnering with us
for both his academic and spiritual growth.
He is learning the ropes of changing classes 7 times each day.
He's forming some sweet friendships with kids who seem to be like-minded.
He is trying to remember to write his assignments in his agenda
and bring home the correct books each night.
He is carrying around what feels like a 40 lb. book bag.
He has said to me at least once a day that he's so glad to be there!!
And, it doesn't hurt my feelings one single bit.
It is amazing to see him grow and learn and be stretched while he is still under our care.
He's taking responsibility for his academic life, which makes my heart sing with JOY!
It's one of the many things I wanted to see develop in his life through homeschool.
He has stepped up to the plate in every single way, and we could NOT be prouder of him.
As for the other two cute kids in that picture....we're homeschooling our hearts out and loving it!
Seth is in 4th grade and Lydia is a big kindergarten student.
We are truly enjoying our time together.
They are both loving extra time with each other and with me.
God is good!
We can make our plans, but God directs our steps.
Proverbs 16:9
{thankful for}
490. answered prayers.
491. God's leading.
492. the accountability of a schedule.
493. Mexican food with the kids tonight.
494. finished laundry.
495. Karen Kingsbury...8 books read in 6 weeks!!
Good for you for following god's lead and doing what he thinks is right. I too want to take on more control then I should at times but am learning to let go. What a wonderful post. Your blog is so inspirationally to me in so many ways, and I am so glad to have found it.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post. As a fellow homeschooler, I think God calls us to different schooling situations at different times. I am sure that reading "Give Them Grace" helped. It sure is helping me with my control issues. As far as making mistakes goes, my husband reminds me that he is glad that they can learn from their mistakes while they are still home rather than as adults. Thank you for sharin.
ReplyDeleteNeeded that reminder! Love you and your heart and on a random side note Miz Eleanor comment above love that name.
ReplyDeletewonderful post, love the picture of those darlings', love your heart and love you.
ReplyDeleteThis week, both boys at different times, different ways have said, 'I love school.' or 'I love living here.' or something that told me in my exausted heart, {it's going to be ok}{more than ok... fantastic!}
ReplyDeletetonight I met with teachers, (and trying as I might, I still teared up with one of them,.)
But I really know, really know, this is right.
Applauding you, and thankkful for your diligence in guiding your children's hearts. Faith takes a spin sometimes, us parents, are just not expecting.
Miss you! :) And love the kids photo!!
praying for ya'll during this exciting new time for each of you!!
ReplyDeletei bet you're gonna have an awesome year!
it's so tough when we are trying to discern His will for us amdist all the well do-ers, encouragers, etc.
love you friend.
"Fear isn't from the Lord. Ever." Thanks for the reminder. Something I struggle with daily. Beautiful photo of your kids!
ReplyDeleteWhat an exciting time for him! And...you...good for you. I think getting past what people think is the absolute hardest for me, and i am so very proud of you for pushing through that worry. Because, at the end of the day - they don't matter. It's funny, Walker is starting his second year of middle school on Monday and we are already in the rush rush rush schedule thanks to football. I feel ya on that one.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh I love this. So glad you trusted what you heard Jesus saying in your heart instead of the lies Satan tried (and is probably still trying!) to feed you!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness Tara your children are beautiful! What a heartfelt sharing here...it sounds like you both are handling this change wonderfully. I homeschooled my daughter for 4 years...some of the sweetest years of my life; but in grade 7 she made the decision to go back to regular school. I missed her but it was what she wanted; I was so grateful for the 4 years we had together learning and sharing and bonding. Luke has been so blessed to have such an adoring Momma, and he will carry all you've given him deep in his heart. Bless you sweet friend for your constant love and affection for these treasures, which is always evident to all.
ReplyDeleteWarm hugs xo
Love,
Deborah xoxoxo
Wow. I love everything about this post, Tara. Whether it's about homeschooling or somethign else, the deeper layers are rich and good and common to so many of us. (Control...hello?!!? I can give you an AMEN on that one!) I love Proverbs 16:9. Praying for your Luke today, but even more, praying for you...for God to continue calling from deep unto deep in your heart...and in mine! Love you girl!
ReplyDeleteyou know what, tara? you just do what is right for y'all. i love homeschooling. i have no plans of sending them to school at this point, but like you, it's always a year at a time. life changes...the kids change. next year could be totally different. although homeschooling is a huge passion of mine and that's what i do, i'd never judge anybody for not. i'm sure you made the right decision. :)
ReplyDeleteWe have had kind of the same journey this year. We decided after registering Mallory for public school to send her to private. Many people have shown their disagreement and have shared their opinion with me, both openly and not so openly, but it has really showed me that I only answer to our Lord. My biggest responsibility is to my children, not to any institution. I have not felt such peace about a decision in a long time. So glad Luke is doing well and the rest of you are too!
ReplyDeleteOh girl I identified with so much of this post even though we don't homeschool. You can't care what anyone else thinks. So proud of you. He's gonna do great. There may be missteps but that's how we learn and grow. I just had the leader follower discussion with my girls too.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you in a big way. I only home schooled my kids for a season, but I loved it and it was very hard for me to let go of them when they returned to public school. I still toss around the 'What if we just homeschool?' idea from time to time. I think you have the right perspective here...God will tell us what is right and when. I am happy to hear that Luke is enjoying middle school...Eden starts in a week and she is a mix of nerves and excitement!
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard when you grapple with a decision and are uncertain if you're following your heart or God's plan, isn't it? It sounds like you made the right decision for your family. I can't weigh in the the homeschool debate since it's not something I do, but I just know that some things work for some individuals that might not work for others. Don't worry about what other people are saying...your son is going to do great :)
ReplyDeleteOh girly... ain't it all the truth... I'm SO glad God has this all covered.
ReplyDeleteI had a lot of questions when we changed too... and we went Public... it was scary but we knew it was the right choice.... In the end you can only do what's in YOUR heart you know? Love that everyone is adjusting well. That's half the battle right there.
Love you friend,
S
What a loving, beautiful mama you are. Kuddos to you for following your heart and trusting God to lead you and your boy. Praying for a happy, wonderful school year!
ReplyDeleteLove you friend...and LOVE this pic of your precious kids!
ReplyDeleteI was one of those moms who was certain my kids would only go to a Christian school & they did....for a little while. Unfortunately, we just couldn't afford 4 kids in private school & I knew if God wanted them in private, He would've provided the money for that. I REALLY struggled when we had to put the boys in public school as it was sooo against what I wanted. We are blessed that we were able to send our oldest son to a Catholic school & now his brother is there while the younger boys remain in a public middle & elementary. I realize God has different plans for different seasons & even different kids. God knows what's best in our lives! That's why it's sooo dangerous judging others as honestly if they are submitting to God's will, then in truth, you are judging God.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post...thanks for sharing so much of your heart.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you through this new school year!